Gorgeous

Gigi's Getting Gorgeous- "Happily Ever After". I was up this morning with the other two billion people watching the royal nuptials. Absolutely stunning, beautiful and classy,everything we would want a Royal Wedding to be and yet intimate. (Bravo William and Kate!)

As I sat sipping coffee at 3:30 in the darkness of my kitchen, my mind wandered to my latest British Invasion which was on a recent girls weekend in Las Vegas when I realized that I'm bi-lingual after a couple of cocktails. (Who needs Rosetta Stone when I have Red bull and vodka?) We were greeted by a VIP host at Tao named Pasqual, "Bonjour, Pasqual" (all proud of myself) "Are you from Canada?" (what the hell is that suppose to mean?) "Non, je suis American." "Oh? I thought perhaps you were from Quebec, I don't speak French." "yes, me neither." "I gathered that." (shut up and get us some free drinks! Comprendo??)

I'm up for any kind of workout. I've tried kick boxing, (couldn't walk for a week) I've done spin class (Lance Armstrong has nothing to worry about) and I even dabbled in a strip tease class.

I will take summer heat over a sub-zero day anytime but this is getting ridiculous!  I'm in a constant state of perspiration and dehydration (could have something to do with my coffee and alcohol intake but that's besides the point!) I've been a hot mess for all of  August. (who knew thighs could sweat so much, wtf?!)

I am the anti-horticulturist.  Plants and flowers come to my house to die.  (no, I'm not trying to make potpourri)  Every year I head down to the Minneapolis Farmer's market in May with eyes wide open. (I'm going to kick some Belinda and Bobby Jensen ass this year!)  I have huge aspirations for my hanging baskets lasting through the summer with my watering, Miracle Gro and singing. (ok, no singing, more like begging, "you can do this, I only forgot to water you twice in the 90 degree heat, C'mon!, don't die on me!! please!!!") 

The other day I pulled out a dress from last summer and threw it on for a night out with the girls, to my chagrin it was a bit snug in the back and butt.

I'm a beauty product junkie. I've willingly been sucked into the multi gazillion dollar industry with pleasure.  I'm always on the hunt for the new, hot, "must have" product or service but sometimes I get ahead of myself and think I'm a DIY kinda girl, I don't need to rely on a professional for everything. (wrong, oh so very wrong) 

My mom defines the words, "power shopper". She is the Yoda of a screamin' deal (minus being green and wrinkly)  I was pulled aside at the tender age of thirteen and she whispered in my ear. "never pay full retail, my young Jedi." (ok, she didn't call me Jedi) Shopping with my mother was comparable to a modern day boot camp. We would rise before the sun, hustle out to the car while she yelled, "got the maps?" "check!" "coffee?" "check!"  "granola bars?" (come to find out this would be our only food for the next 10 hours, wtf?) "check!" 

I rolled out of bed last weekend after a night out with the girls, stumbled my way to the bathroom to rinse the sweaters off my teeth and bumped into my man (literally, my eyes were closed) in the hallway and he said, "what the hell happened to you?" (now is that how you greet someone? I think not!)

I'm going to put doing laundry right up there with going to the OB/GYN.  I know I have to do it but I really don't look forward to it.  I lost interest in laundry when my mother was no longer on the other end of the laundry chute. (best invention ever!)